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The five basic types of Asshole.

Many people believe that there is just one class of Asshole in the world. The truth is that there are infinate levels of Asshole. The problem is that the majority of people are just not skilled enough to recognize the different levels. CertifiedAsshole.com helps to simplify the process of classification. Our testing process will break down the types of asshole into the 5 most basic levels of Asshole.

Type of Asshole
Grand Master Asshole
To be classified as a Grand Master Asshole means you have taken your Asshole skills to a Zen like level.  You are completely at peace with the fact that you are, and that everyone who meets you knows that your are, an Exceptional Asshole.  Only those Assholes who are pure enough to get a perfect score on the exam are classified at this level.
Master Asshole
If you are classified in this level then you have learned to utilize your skills on a level that many Assholes will never reach.  You are indeed a special type of Asshole.
This is the most common level of ability for the majority of Assholes in the world.  This is a perfectly acceptable level of Assholiness, and you should be very proud of your Asshole skillset and the Asshole accomplishments in your life.
Asshole in training
A person classified at this level possesses the most rudimentary Asshole skills, but their instincts are not yet refined enough to properly apply the skills.  Once you have achieved this level you are well on your way to a rewarding life as an Asshole.
Aspiring Asshole
This is the most basic level.  People classified at this level are just beginning to realize that they have Asshole capabilities and need to explore their Asshole tendancies further to be sure that they will truley be happy being an Asshole

These are the most basic levels of Asshole, and you may not agree with the way that we choose to classify you, but guess what?  Your classification is determined by our methods and our idea of what an Asshole is, and as Assholes ourselves all we can say is, tough shit! you are welcome to take the test over and get reclassified if you feel that you can do better the next time around. Our objective here is to Certify Assholes and try to show the world that it takes a special type of person to be a REAL ASSHOLE!


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